Lourens Oberholzer — Retire Rich And Happy Goals vs Outcomes

It is indeed what's involved as we do each and every Monday at this time and my special guest in studio tonight and I'm allowed to let the cat out of the bag. Lawrence Webberholzer from Retire Rich and Happy, but cat out of the bag, I mean we have agreed because I'm going on somebody else's say so here, but once a month now, we're getting you in and we're going to be chatting about it. Usually the last Monday of the month as I understand it, yes. Perfect. So first of all, compliments of the new year, first time we've been back to all the listeners. How has your start to the year been? The funny thing about me and what happened in our business, we've done so many good things. It doesn't bring in cash flow though. So the business is not bringing in the cash flow, but we know we're doing the right things. We're putting the building blocks in place. So a lot of what we do this year is to build capacity to help more and more people because we're getting more and more people coming to us and I don't have enough capacity to help all of them. So part of my first six months is just building capacity, finding more people that we can train to help the people. But it seems, I don't know, there seems to be a sentiment in this 2019 year.

People are a lot more upbeat, they're a lot more positive. My business is changing sort of, not entirely like doing a 180, but we are changing. I'm still doing the digital thing. Just in a different way and sort of growing with that. I must tell you, I'm feeling a lot happier about that. And this year started off brilliantly. I mentioned just now to you while we're off here, what we do is we do sales training and communication training as well. And we were with a company called Imdex, an international company. They do mining lubricants and drooling and all sorts of weird and whatever. They get to learn so much. So we've done that. We've been doing something for fashion week coming up soon. We're doing stuff for Nash, so very, very exciting. It's really started off, because normally January is like a dead month. And everybody feels, it's like really upbeat. It's like we got through 2018. Thank goodness. We can now get into 2019. Yeah. Well, that's, I certainly, I feel that way now. Towards the end of 2018, I was fortunate enough to come to one of your, what do we call it? Presentation seminar? Forum. Yeah. The Financial Freedom Forum. Yeah. And I got to tell you, it was one of those days I'd had, and you've allowed to, we will share this.

I had a flashback Friday, the night before, and unfortunately I'd tripped and fallen into a bottle of tequila. Yes. So I was hung over like, hanging like a- I saw that early in the morning when we started. Hanging like a stick of bull tongue, but brilliant though. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It wasn't so much, and it was eye opening, and you know, the cynical radio part of me was like, okay. Yeah. Let's hear what this guy has to say. Let's hear what he's got to say. Where's the catch? Yeah. When the sale happened? Where's the catch? Where's the big sales pitch? Because I've been to a couple of these fancy things, and the guy spent five minutes giving you a little nugget of information, and then the rest of the 40 minutes sort of pitching something to you. Yeah. But wait if you want more. Yeah. Yeah. Sign up to the advance course right now. You didn't. Yeah. This is what we are. This is what we do. This is how we do it. Yes. And then you went into actual actionable stuff. Things that people can do, can go out and improve their lives immediately. Yeah. And I think that was absolutely brilliant. So I'm so glad that we are going to be having you on here on a monthly basis. Yes. I'm glad to be here.

And the nice thing, Dave, for the listeners out there, if I could keep you awake and engage for five hours after your hangover, then I won't bore them, I promise. And you know what? I am the worst. And I can't even say I'm embarrassed because I know I do this. I kind of, if I get a concept or get something, I get bored very easily. Very quickly. Yeah. Very easily. And then I start to fidget and jump around and yawn. But I wasn't. It was a brilliant presentation. And it's nice to see such a diverse group of people there. Yes. Because it's not just people that attend this that are, you know, oh look, I've got too much money. I don't know what to do. Do with it. Yes. It's people that are like average Joe. People that started a small little business, people that work for a company, everybody. And they want some help, which is brilliant. So let's get into what we're going to be talking about tonight, because I think it's very important and we may or may not agree on this. I think we're going to end up getting very close to a similar thought because I've got very similar thoughts to you about this. Yeah. So yeah, what I was thinking of talking about, because it's the beginning of the year, everybody started on the 1st of January with all the new year's resolutions and everything's going to change.

Yes. And by the end of January, that's usually when all those goals go out the window. It's a bit like the 10 commandments broken. Yes. Yeah. And why I wanted, I decided to talk a little bit about why do we not achieve our goals? If we set these things, if we say we're going to achieve it, why don't we? What happens? And one of it is what you mentioned outside and we'll get to that now. But I mean, listen, I've been there because I spend a lot of time reading. I spend a lot of time attending courses and seminars and everything. And I was a big fan at one stage of Tony Bizan and the mind mapping thing. Yes. But this goal setting for me, I mean, this was touted as the holy grail. You got to have your one month, three months, one year, five year, blah, blah, blah. And I promise you, I've diligently, I've got books, Lawrence, books filled. With goals written down. And you know what? I never, ever get it right. And that's a problem. Okay. We're going to discuss that though. When we come back. David Watts on MIX 93.8. It's MIX 93.8, legendary radio. It is what's involved, proudly brought to you by The Cradle Boutique Hotel. Great place. We had a purpose last week, and I just really love the whole ethic there.

My special guest in studio tonight from Retire, Rich and Happy, Lawrence Urbalza. So we're talking goals. Goals. Yes. And I was saying just before the break that, you know, I just never got it right. If you want to join us on this conversation, you can SMS us. SMS is our one rain 50 each, SMS number 41348, otherwise WhatsApp us, 0848220938. Let us know what you think. So talk to me about your perspective on goal setting. There's a couple of things that I want to say first. So the first thing is people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and they completely underestimate what they can achieve in a decade. So what we tend to do is we tend to set these ridiculous goals that we're going to change our whole life in this year, which is unrealistic. And then what happens is we end the year and we haven't achieved those because we gave up on it during the year. And next year we start from zero again. If you start and you put realistic goals, a realistic change in place, you can build on top of that for the next year and the next year. So a lot of people, I sit with people and they say, well, I'm 50 already. I want to retire at 65. I've got 15 years left. Can I still do anything? And I say to them, you know what?

Most billionaires out there became billionaires in a decade, didn't take 30 years. They took 10 years and they went from zero to a billionaire. Now if they can change their whole life in 10 years, imagine what you can do in 10 years. So that's the first thing I want people to put goals in perspective. A goal isn't something that's so out there, you know, they say dream big, but you can't be that big that it's so unrealistic that you don't buy into it. The second thing is, and this is where I think we're going to agree a lot, is you know the traditional thing that they teach you about goals. You have to write it down. You have to have a deadline. Then you work it backwards into smaller chunks and then you start doing the small things to get there. Now the question I want to ask you is, if you look at the biggest achievements you have achieved in your life, which of those did you do that with? That you set the goal, set the deadline, broke it down, then started with the small chunks and achieved it? Not one. And that's exactly, it doesn't work that way. And the problem is, is that when I've done the goal setting thing and then I don't achieve what I need to do, like my daily list of 10 things to do, I feel horrible.

And then I'm like, and then all of that self doubt and you're like, oh, I'm never going to do this. I can't. This is the problem. This is what's holding me back is I'm crap at goal setting. And then it becomes you. That's the problem. Yeah. And no, you're absolutely right. So here's the thing. If you look at the biggest achievements you've ever done, what you've done first and foremost is you made a decision. You said, I am going to do this. Come hello, high water. This is what I'm going to do. And then you started moving in the general direction of your goal. So you determined what is my next logical step to get me closer to that goal. And then you start doing that. And once you do that, the next logical step will come across and then you'll do that. And then you start moving, but it all begins with the decision. Our biggest things that we achieve in life, achievements we get to is not because we set a goal and we work it backwards into small chunks. It's because we made the decision that we're going to do it and we believe that we're going to achieve it. That's the first thing. So that I think we agree with. So it's more about making that decision. So I created a small acronym for how to achieve goals.

And it's called DIMIT, D-I-E-M-I-D. These are the things that you do to achieve your goal. And I'm going to run through that with you quickly. Yes. The D stands for decision. Everything starts with the decision first. You have to know what it is that you want to achieve and make sure that you're going to achieve it no matter what. The second one is finding inspiration. Go and get the belief through being inspired with somebody else who's already achieved it. Go read a biography of somebody that's done it. See that somebody else could achieve it, therefore you can achieve it as well. You know what? There is a very, very big point. And that's what I found, that there's a difference between inspiration and motivation. Yes. And motivation is only kind of going to get you so far. Motivation is getting out of bed in the morning. Yes. That's motivation in my book. But inspiration, when you are inspired... You create belief. You create belief and you take massive action, but it doesn't feel like massive action. Yes. One step at a time. Exactly. Okay. So the second one is inspiration. The third one is education, the E stands for education. So once you're inspired, go educate yourself because most of the goals that we want to achieve needs us to grow in some way.

We need to learn new skills. We need to learn to do new things. So go and find education. My brain is wired that immediately if I can't do something, my first thought is, where do I find a book to go teach myself this? Yeah. So go and read. Go and get the education you need. Then comes motivation. Because once you've done the inspiration, then you have the education, then you need to motivate yourself to actually go and take action, to actually do something because it's no use having all the education in the world and not doing anything with it. So motivation then moves into implementation. So once you're motivated, you start taking action, you start implementing the next logical step. And it's always about what is the next logical step, not what is 20 steps further down the road. What is your next logical step? What I always, how I explain it to people is if you want to walk through a forest and it's misty, there's this fog and you can only see like 10 meters in front of you. How do you get to the other side of the forest? You walk 10 meters, because once you've walked those 10 meters, you can see another 10 meters and then you can walk another 10 meters. And that's how it works with achieving your goal.

And then the last one is determination. Never give up because once you start implementing, I promise you there's going to be obstacles. It's always, it's going to happen. There's going to, things are not going to work out as you planned. And that's when you need the determination to push through. One of my big, big mentors and somebody that has certainly had a big impact on my life said to me the one day, this goal setting is like, you know, and I'm like, no, you don't understand. You have to write it down. Different colors, mind maps, do this, do that. And he goes, no, okay. It's actually a couple of very simple steps. Okay. Stop, look, correct, act. And I was like, no, there's no way. Cannot be that. And he goes, figure it out. Look, what's working, what's not working, correct that action. And then act. If you do that, you cannot help it succeed. And this is very much like that Dr. Demon thing that you got. Yes. And the thing is, people expect once they've planned it and once I know what the next logical step is, things are just going to work out as they planned. They don't plan for the unexpected. And things will go wrong. And I always tell people when the obstacles come, it's not a bad thing.

It's how it's supposed to be. Because what obstacles does is it creates friction. And without friction, we can't move forward. If I take a call and I give it glass wheels and I put it on a glass table and we put all the pressure down on it and we start revving it, where's it going to go? It's just going to stand and spin because there's no friction. The friction of obstacles, of things going wrong is what moves us forward. It shows us the route to go and what not to do. Well, that's one of the things with me as well. And one of the things we discussed outside was, it's not goal setting, but it's called well-defined outcomes, well-formed outcomes. And this was the other thing is that, you know, there's, let's take a silly thing. I'm going to make 150,000 rain a month. You kind of look at that and you go, oh, I don't know so much, maybe I'm not going to make 150 because I'm only sitting on 15 now. But there's something that sort of happens when you allow yourself to dream. And this might be a little esoteric and I sort of am all over the place when it comes to this kind of stuff. But there's a guy by the name of Mike Dooley who knows very well, notes from the universe, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

And he always says, it's good to dream and don't worry about what he calls the cursed house. You know, and that's part of having that well-formed outcome. You've got an idea and as long as you're moving in the general direction and it's those steps because what used to happen to me is I would do what you said there, okay, I would educate, I would educate the hell out of myself. And then I'd go, I don't know, I just don't know, I don't know what to do now. And this mentor of mine said, well, do something, do anything but do something because it's that first step. And as well, I was like, yeah, but I've got a weird brain, okay, because I like to have four or five or six different projects. And he's like, so? But I shouldn't be like that. I shouldn't be laser-focused. And he was like, no. Yeah. Just find the next logical step. So I want a job that pays me more. Well, what's the next logical step? Well, get your CV ready and start sending it to people. That's the next logical step. It's usually the next step is very simple to find. It's when people start thinking about what then, and what then, and what then, and that's where they get stuck. Then I'm not going to be able to pay the mortgage, I can't pay the car, I can't get the insurance.

And another thing that worked for me very much, so we've just got one kid that's come in here from Jacques, he goes, it's the same as health and safety, assess every situation. Yes. Yeah, assessment is good. I agree with you there, Jacques. And adjust, there's a thing that says, be stubborn in your goals, but flexible in your methods. So when you have a goal and you decide, you made the decision, I'm going to achieve that. Be stubborn in that, you're going to achieve that, but be flexible in how you get there. And that's where there's this plan of breaking it down into small steps. That doesn't give you flexibility. You need to be flexible in what you do. And be aware, I think, of opportunity, because opportunity knocks at the strangest times. And if you're not, if you are that stubborn about this is the only way, which was my downfall, because I would literally plan it out. I would suffer from paralysis through analysis and do nothing. And then when it didn't work on going, you see, I'm useless, I can't do anything. But just be open and look, and there is, you're getting to the big buzzword at the moment, and I'm sure you've heard it, is the term flow state. You're getting to that state of flow, that's like when you're in the groove.

And you know what I've found helps me get there, and I don't always get there, but when I do, man, it is awesome, because everything just works. But you've got to allow yourself that flexibility. And don't be that rigid. Don't always say it has to be this way or the highway, because you're going to shoot yourself in the foot. And one of the things you spoke about, Mike Dooley now, one of the things he talks about is infinite possibilities and infinite probabilities. So infinite possibility says everything is possible, which is everything is possible. But infinite probability say, well, although everything is possible, not everything is probable. So you need to look at your goals within infinite probability. So if I'm 1.5 meters tall, and I'm 62 kilograms, I'm not going to be a springbok prop. It's possible, but it's not probable. So if I put that as my goal, then chances are I'm going to be disappointed because it's not probable. So you need to look at it from a probability perspective as well. I'm not going to be the president of the US. It's never going to happen. I'm not going to unseat President Trump because it's not probable. So if that's my goal, it's going to be ridiculous. I'm not going to achieve that.

So we need to work within that realm of probabilities because our subconscious that it knows whether something is going to be achievable or not. It does. We'll come back and I'll tell you a little bit more about it. We'll give you Mike Dooley's "Where You Can Sign Up" because that notes from the universe is brilliant. It's just that little morning kind of kick in the teeth and the way he writes it is absolutely brilliant. So we'll come back with that. You are listening to what's involved, proudly brought to you by the Cradle Boutique Hotel and my guest in studio, Lawrence Oberholzer, from Retire Rich and Happy. Listen, I got a couple of messages in so I'm going to ask. Forum time. When is that and are we giving away any? Yes, I'm definitely going to give away some tickets. We'll give away three VIP tickets. So for anybody who wants to come, it's on the 23rd of February in Centurion at Momentum head office. People can go book on Quicket.co.za. They can just search Financial Freedom Forum. So Quicket, almost like cricket, but just quick. So Quicket.co.za. And then if anybody wants to win a free VIP ticket, it's a double VIP ticket so you can bring your better half with, they can SMS RRH and their name to 33903.

That's our SMS competition line. So it's RRH and your name to 33903. So 33903. How many are we giving away? Three double VIP tickets. So the VIP tickets, they get lunch with me and they get all the tools. So included in the tools is the SEP tool, the Strategic Expense Planning, that budgeting one that opens your eyes, the debt settlement tool, which shows you and helps you to get rid of your unsecured debt, the bond settlement tool that helps you to pay off your bond in half the time and then the investment calculator as well that shows you what the effect of costs on your investment and what it can grow to. Now I've got to tell you, just that budgeting tool is invaluable. My fiancé, who works with this stuff all the time, was so excited to get her hot little hands on that. But when she went through it, she actually spoke to me, she said, "I'm horrified. I'm horrified about how much money I spend on little things and because you don't pay attention to that kind of thing." It's awareness. For nothing else. Go on there. Now, Quicket, you can go on, so it's K-W-Q-I-C-K-E-T, Quicket, and you can book there. What does a normal seat cost? Okay, so the VIP seats is $4.99 for a single ticket.

I think it's $7.49 for a couple. And that includes then the dinner and the lunch and all the tools, and then you can book free tickets. So you can come for free and you can decide if you want to buy one of all the tools when you are there to first see how it's going to work. But we do it for free. It's about sharing this information and helping people. I'm telling you now, if you're listening, SMS, because it's one great way of getting in there, but even if you don't win, do yourself a favor. It's well worth the price of admission. We were there, like I said, last year, and it was a very, very informative day. And there's real information that you can really use and start from that day. You can literally start, and you can start to change your life. So that your name, so it's R-R-H, and your name to 3-3-9-0-3. We're going to be giving away three double VIP tickets. If you are a winner, somebody from Lawrence's office will be in touch and let you know. Cool. Here's the thing. Just quickly, you're talking about that budgeting. We did some research before we created the strategic expense planning tool. And we found that the average household, so the listeners that's listening, the average household are overspending on their budget by at least 10%.

So that means if your budget is 50,000 rand a month, you are overspending by 5,000 rand. There's 5,000 rand in your budget that you just have to go and find, that you don't know where it's going. Yeah. Well, I can tell you where it's very often going is to that wonderful little piece of plastic that you've got in your wallet called the credit card or various accounts in it. That was one of the biggest eye-openers for me, is that zero point. What did you call it? Moving your zero back to zero. Yeah. It's major. Once you actually see that action, that sort of inaction, that process, you go, "Oh." That's exactly where you are. Correct. This is not good. And it is. It's a wake-up call. It's a slap upside the head. But so many of us live that way. Yes. And we use that credit card excuse as a security mechanism. And actually, it's not. It's just your zero that's moved. So you're sitting at minus 20 instead of zero. Yes. So getting to zero, big, big thing there. Anyway, we're talking goals and goal settings. Yes. You've got a couple of things that you'd like to add as well. Yeah. Just a few reasons why most people fail. I thought, "Let's approach this from a little bit of a different angle instead of just telling people how to set goals.

Let's look at it from a different angle. Why do you not achieve your goals?" Because I think a lot of us get frustrated and then we start blaming ourselves. So there's a couple of reasons. The first one is excuses. If you set the goal, stop making excuses. Stop telling yourself, "We can boo." Am I allowed to say shit? No. Okay. So I'm not going to. Don't say that on me. Okay. So we lie to ourselves so much that we believe ourselves. So we must stop making excuses and stop trying. I always tell people, "Stop trying. Either do it or don't do it." It's like from the karate kid, man. Either do or do not do. Exactly. Star Wars. Yeah. There's no Star Wars. There's Yoda. Yoda. Yeah. That's so true. That's so true. Because if you invite somebody to a place and they say, "I'm going to try to be there." What's the chances they're going to come? Yeah. Very little. Not happening. So you either go or you don't go. So start living your life like that. Don't make an excuse. Don't try. Either do it or don't do it. Yeah. And it comes back to that decision. It's the decision. Make the decision. Yes. So the second one is the moment we make the decision, our brains tend to magnify our fears more than it does our abilities.

So the moment, especially if we have a big goal, we start doubting ourselves and we focus on what we don't have instead of focusing what we do have in our corner. So we'll talk about we don't have enough capital. I'm not a good enough salesman or whatever the case may be. Start focusing on your abilities more. You are somebody that can achieve whatever you put your mind to. So focus on that. The third one is you don't have a strong enough why. And that comes back to the decision. It's all about why you want to achieve the goal. You have to have this compelling kind of why, this compelling reason to do what you want to do. Yes. And you have to attach an emotion to it. The more emotion you attach to a goal, the higher the chance that you're going to achieve it. I think you hit the nail on the head there because when I was doing traditional goal setting. There was no emotion. There was no emotion. It was just write. Yes. Write it down. Yay. They only become real when you write it down. No. Because then I've got a roadmap for my failure. But emotion is what actually gets you out of bed in the morning. I'll give you an example. I had this training with MDEX on Saturday. I had Flashback Friday on Friday.

And I was like, okay, I'm not doing this again. I made the decision. And as luck would have it, Friday night turned into one heck of a party. And Elianna and I were sitting there going, I really don't want to go home now. But my why? To be able to go out and keep my obligations and everything led me to go home without getting myself totaled on the way at Flashback. Get up at five and go and deliver it. And it was a brilliant day. And that sense of satisfaction afterwards, that is what's so important. Exactly. So that emotion, what I do when I talk to groups about this, I'm not going to do it now, but I'll quickly explain. I ask the people, if I told you, you have to get 100,000 rand ready by Thursday morning, will you be able to do it? And then most people go, there's no way. Where do I get 100,000 rand suddenly? And I say, okay, so let's say I kidnap your child. And I say, if you don't have 100,000 rand by Thursday morning, your child is dead. Will you then get 100,000 rand? Chances are definitely. So what has changed, your ability to get 100,000 rand, or was it the reason why you have to get it? It's just the reason. The ability was always there. The reason was just not strong enough.

So you have to have that why. The next one is, we're not setting our priorities right. And that ties into what you just said. Your priority was right. That's why at Flashback Fridays, you made the decision to go. If your priority wasn't right, you would have said, ah, you know what, I'll be okay. I'll wing it. And you would probably have had a terrible presentation, you would have felt bad about it. So you need to set our priorities right. The next one is, we're not clear on the price that we need to pay. And that comes into commitment. Every goal we set, everything we want to achieve has a price link to it. The bigger the goal, the bigger the price. And what we do is we set the goal without really thinking of what is the price that I'm going to have to pay. Again, going back to yours, your goal was to have a fantastic presentation with Emdex. The price you had to pay was not having a nice spotty and have fun with everybody. And you had to pay that price to have the good presentation. But that's more like deferred, because I was, listen, trust me, big fan of instant gratification here, okay? Big fan. Most drivers are people that drive. They want it now. Yes. We're not patient. Big fan.

So, once you've got those priorities right, it is a price in a certain sense. I mean, if I look at you, for example, and I've gotten to know Lawrence a little bit, but you're also a driver, and I mean, you work stupid hours, long hours, weekends, I don't think your brain ever really switches off. I think anybody that's in your life must just like, could you just stop for a bit? A little bit, yes. But you love it. It's your passion. So, it's not work. It's not work with your passion. You're not paying a price. Yes. Yes, you got to make a decision, okay? But that delayed gratification is so much sweeter. And that's the thing. The stronger the emotion is attached to it, the easier it is to pay the price. Yeah. So, if I really, I enjoy talking to crowds. I enjoy seeing people understand things that they never understood before. And because I enjoy it, because it's my passion for me to go stand there on a Saturday for five hours and talk to people and entertain them and give them knowledge, it's not a job. It's a passion. It's a story. Every minute of it. And it's also, like to me, if I do the training stuff, it's a privilege that somebody is going to allow you into their space for you to share your knowledge.

And to see them walk out going, "Hang, that was like, yeah, that was good. I enjoyed that." That is, to me, much better. The other thing that was suggested to me is I used to be terrified of all sorts of things happening. And again, what happens if I lose the house, the car? And this mentor of mine goes, "All right, well then, you've got to make up, like, what if list? What is the worst thing that can happen?" And I'm like, "Oh." And he goes, "But will you die?" "No, no." "All right, so then, and do, like, literally what I did." And I've only ever done it once, but it's stuck in my head. So, I've got this emergency plan of what I will do if it all goes to hell in a hand basket. What can I do? And can I survive? And the answer is yes. And as soon as you know that, there is a security where you're willing to extend yourself a little bit more if you've gotten your worst case scenario plan down. Put it in a file in the bottom drawer, whatever you need to do. You agree with that? That's exactly. That's the way you stop worrying. There's a talk that I do about how to stop worrying and start living. So, what happens is you look at whatever you're worried about, you say, "What is the worst possible outcome that can come from this if this happens?" Then you get that.

Then you say, "Well, now let's say it has already happened, so assume that it's already happened. What do I do now?" And then you find a solution for the worst possible outcome. Once you have the solution, you don't have to worry about it anymore, because if it happens, which 90% of the time it doesn't, you have a solution, so it takes the worry out of it. But that's another big thing. Your mind is a scary, scary place, because it will paint, and we don't actually give ourselves credit for that, because often you say to somebody, "But visualize," or I can't visualize. We do. But tell me what happens. Oh, then suddenly you can see the house falling down, the wife's leaving you, the dogs have bitten you. Yes. Well, that you can visualize easily, but your mind creates these massive pictures. Why not just make them good pictures? Exactly. But that's why I teach people when we look at budgeting, for example, we create these pictures of this budgeting, and I say, it's like when you watch a horror movie. The monster's always the scariest when it's in the shadows, when it's running past at the back, then you get scared. Once they show the monster, most of the scaredness of it or the scariness of it is gone.

And that's what you want to do, is you want to look at the monster and take the fear out of it. And then once you've looked at the monster, it's not as scary as you thought most of the time. Yeah. So I just saw another message that's coming. Enjoying the show, guys. I have met with Lawrence a few times. Sometimes us non-enlightened people wink, just feel so bogged down in the daily grind that it'd been very hard to get your head dried to ease you down. One day when I'm big, I have to be able to think like you guys. It's from a carry. Listen, it's got nothing to do with when you're big. You know what it is? It's literally practiced. You know where I started? I mean, I've told you some of the story, I'm sure I've told the listeners as well. I ended up with absolutely nothing, okay? Lost my business, lost my job, lost all of my insurances, lost every single thing. And I was on anti-depressants and I was self-medicating, anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety, washed down with a slugger whiskey. And I started off, the way I started to get back there is with literally a gratitude journal. It was like, wake up in the morning and go, what are you grateful for? And you know what? Even just waking up.

In the beginning, there was literally, then it was like, okay, I've woken up. I'm grateful. I made it. Okay, I'm still not dead. That's pretty cool. And the fact that I had my animals, my dogs with me, and slowly, slowly. And listen, take, well, from me, I don't know, maybe for other people it's different. This is not an overnight thing. No. You've got to actually do it and commit to it. And the kind of changes to change your thinking happen slowly. One day you'll suddenly wake up and go, hell, I think differently now, I feel differently now. You know? Zig Ziglar, I think it's Zig Ziglar that said, for things to change, you have to change. So we tend to think of change happening from the outside in. If I have another spouse, I'll be happier. If I have another job, I'll be happier. If I have another car, I'll be happier. That's not how it happens. It happens from the inside out. So you have to be happy to make things outside more happy. I think we need to talk at some stage. We're going to run out of time. Yes, again. But we need to talk about happiness because, you know, I used to attach what I thought was happiness to my toys. Yes. And you know what? The feeling of happiness is fleeting.

It's like you're being a junkie waiting for your next fix because I'll be happy when I get this car. Then you got the car and you're like, okay, I don't feel that happy. Maybe for the first little while, but now I've got the debt and the car's not so cool. And, you know, you defer happiness. Yeah. We live in a have, do, be paradigm. Have, be, do paradigm. If I have this, I will be happy, which means I'll do whatever. We need to live from a be, do, have paradigm, where I will be happy first. Then I'll do the things a happy person does, and then I'll have everything that I want in my life. So we need to change that paradigm as well. You know what the scariest thing for me was, and it's a realization I only came to the other day, is my definition of success and abundance. It's changed completely now. Has changed totally. Totally. To do, when we're young, everything is attached to toys and money and all of that. Yeah. It's changed totally, which is, and I get goosebumps now saying it, but when it suddenly hit me, I'm like, yeah, you know, I don't need this, and this, and this, and this. To be happy. I'm as happy as can be. I nearly said something bad, but I'm as happy as can be. Anyway, listen, we're running out of time.

When we come back, we'll be wrapping up with Lawrence. Let me just, Lawrence, remind us again, that number is... It's R.R.H. and your name to 33903, and we'll give away three double VIP tickets. And like I said, if you're not a winner, just go. Go and book, because I promise you, it is the start of something big. David Watts on Mix 93.8. Legendary Radio, it is what's involved, probably brought to you by the Cradle Boutique Hotel. My guest in studio, Lawrence Huberholzer from Retire Rich and Happy. Sometimes I think the conversations that happen often are as good as, if not better. It's on air. Yes. On air. And it's just, yeah, when you get... And I love that. That's why I love doing the show. And I think your motivation and mine, they are the same thing, is I love to be able to get in guests that have something of value to give back to our listeners that they can implement. Yes. You know, there's another saying that I have, though, and I hope you would listen to this. I'm going to use the sort of non-dirty words here today, but I always tell the guys that I work with and that I train, it's the story about horse water fish. So you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to do bad things to the fish.

So, you know, it's all about tying and being passionate, and as soon as you get that, and I know it's difficult. I mean, we saw in one of those messages that came through, it's like the Daily Grind, and a lot of people talk about that. Life gets in the way, but you can't let it. Yes. And here's the thing. Life's always going to be there. Yeah. Most people that are unhappy with their lives don't know what will make them happy in the first place. So that's always a good place to start, to say, "But what will make me happy? How should it be for me to be happy?" Because I go with people and they tell me everything that's wrong, and I say, "But how should it be for you to be happier with this situation?" And they go, "I don't really know." I say, "Well, start there, because if you don't know where you're going, you're not going to end up there." Yeah. Any road will get you there if you don't know where you're going. But I mean, you know what's, I think, scary for a lot of people as well is that exercise of going, "What will make me happy?" Yes. And then when you figure that out, having the courage of your convictions to follow that path. To take the next logical step. Yeah, because sometimes, you know, you've spent your entire life climbing up this corporate ladder and you get to the top and you find that the ladder's been leaning against the wrong building.

Exactly. Yeah. It's a scary thing, and I think a lot of people avoid that, but don't. You know, heck, you know, I've started over, one, two, three, four times so far in my life. You've done it as well. Yes, yes. Yeah. And I did it very young, luckily. Yeah. Yeah. So I was, I think I was very close to bankruptcy when I was 24. Yeah. So analogs. You were alone. That's a lot. It was just a slow dive of a very high building, but rock bottom was still there, managed to find it. Yes, yes. But you know what? I think, and it's another thing, let's talk quickly about Mike Dooley. If you want to find out more, Mike Dooley, otherwise it's Notes from the Universe, which is, you can sign up for free. You get them every day on your email inbox at tut.com, T-U-T dot com. Brilliant, brilliant thing. That he talks there often about sometimes the long dark night of the soul is actually a blessing. That's where some of your greatest teachings come from. Yes, yes. And it certainly has been like that for me. I had to lose everything before I appreciated it. Yeah. Exactly that. All righty. Well, we're up and out of here. Yes. Lawrence, we're done. It's unbelievable. I'll see you at the end of February again.

See you at the end of February. Don't forget that forum is on the 23rd of February in Centurion. 23rd of February, we must actually get somebody to come in that's been on it as an outsider to have a chance. Yes. Love to do that. Invite somebody. Thank you very much. David Lawrence on Mix 93.8.