Kim Sorrelle — Author Love Is

what's your dream what's your goal what's your motivation what's important to you what's your passion what can you do to change the world this is what's involved conversations with thought leaders and change makers from around the world hear stories of hope and inspiration to help motivate people like you to live your life find your passion passion and live your dream together we can all bring positive change to our world now here's your host David Watts and once more it is what's involved in you know I love having special guests on and guests from all around the world in fact well such a guest is the lady I'm going to be chatting to now who is she her name is Kim Sorrell hello Kim hello how are you David did I get that did I get the surname right because it's always important Sorrell you see I knew it was I knew it was somewhere around there Kim Sorrell now Kim approached me and said hey what do you think about me being on your show and I thought well let me have a look and see what Kim does and she does a lot okay that that I can tell you right now she does a lot so what we're gonna do is we're gonna just dive straight into it and I'm gonna say Kim tell me a little bit about yourself tell me a bit about your background you know where you came from and how you ended up doing as much as you do now well I was born into an entrepreneurial family my father was an entrepreneur so I started my first business right out of high school and I have been in business for years I just actually recently sold my last business and so I'm going into a whole new phase of life I run a nonprofit organization working in some of the poorest areas of the world I coached for 25 years I've got kids and grandkids and I took a journey to learn about the true meaning of love and that's my life now that is fascinating but let's talk a little bit more because you've got two books out as far as I know the one that I want us to talk about today is called love is a year-long experiment of living out 1 Corinthians 13 love so what made you decide to get into this book I mean it's your second book if I'm not mistaken right yes it is my second book I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago and four months later my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he passed away just six weeks after that and going through that just made me question the real meaning of love the true meaning of love because it's not like you go to a bookstore and there's a manual on love or love for dummies we just kind of learn love from our parents from people around us and and the funny thing is that everything that we learn about love isn't necessarily really love and things that are done in the name of love aren't always really love so I decided I would dedicate a full year to figuring out the true meaning of love okay and and how did that journey start off with this was after your husband passed away and you said okay here we go I'm gonna do a year figuring it up but how did you decide on what this year of figuring out love would be about and would look like well I wasn't quite sure how to go into it and then there's this beautiful 2,000 year old poem that you hear often and kind of people's eyes can kind of glaze over sometimes because here it's it's just heard so often but love is patient love is kind does not envy does not boast etc and I thought well that's a good roadmap if I start there then I can take one word a month and figure out what is love that is patient what is love that is kind there are actually 14 words and phrases in that poem and so it took me a bit longer than a year but what I figured out David is that once you put love is or love isn't in front of anything it totally changes the meaning and I happen to be in Haiti most of the time when I was working on this when I was working on finding love okay now I mean sure you know Haiti is but the kind of place you would necessarily go for for love particularly if I understand the current political situation there and it's a dangerous place to be isn't it it certainly can be and right now more dangerous than sometimes kind of goes in waves with Haiti unfortunately the government has had its issues over the years and there's only so many police officers there's only so much crime prevention and there's a whole lot of poverty a whole lot of hungry people and there are things that people do to keep their families alive so it can be a dangerous place I think like anywhere in the world you just have to be smart about where you go and what you do and you can stay safe yeah listen you're talking to South African yeah we know all about places that aren't 100% safe but anyway so Kim you spent a lot of time in Haiti talk to me a little bit along this journey you've mentioned that you were in Haiti what was something that surprised you about this whole concept of love well every month was a surprise for me and it took the entire month to figure your things out but right out of the gates the love is patient the very first thing I thought I knew what patience was I started a chapter in my book with what I think it is and I'm you know what patience is people know what patience is you yeah honking your horn if you're stuck in traffic or you're not stomping your foot because you're ready to go and they're not ready to go that's patience but what I figured out is love is patient is way different than that I first of all believe you're supposed to love everybody and so if you love the person you're with then you love that this patient would say that this moment right here right now is the most important moment of your life what's in the past is in the past what's in the future is yet to come this is the moment this is a moment that will come and go with or without you and if you love the person you're with then you give them all of you you give them your full attention I used to think I was the greatest multitasker in the history of the world I could be deep in conversation be thinking about a meeting I have later be thinking about what I need to stop and pick up on the way home from the grocery store and still be fully engaged and I found out that's just not true I need to be focused and really listen so that I really hear what the person is saying what the person I love is saying it's so often easy to be distracted or to think I gotta go I really don't want to be in this conversation or or be thinking ahead of what your rebuttal is gonna be what you're gonna stay next rather than really listening to the words the words that are being told to you and love that his patient would say stop and focus and listen and be fully present in the moment and I'm glad you mentioned that because you know these days and I've noticed over the last couple of years and particularly when COVID read its eggy head is that I've noticed even before then though there was this change in people in general people seem to be coming more conscious more aware and you know that the whole idea and particularly in South Africa now this this idea of mindfulness and the mindful leader became quite a quite a big thing and I've said for years you know we've got two ears and one mouth perhaps we should use them in that ratio and and spend some time really really listening so love is patient I love that I think it's brilliant we're gonna be back with Tim Sorrell chatting to her and finding out more about her journey and of course that wonderful book we'll find out where you can get hold of that as well as the other one in just a little bit we'll be right back this is what's involved so good to have you along with us this is what's involved don't forget to subscribe and leave a review more next and we're back what's involved it is my special guest is Kim Sorrell she is she's many things she's she's a writer she's a coach she's a mom she's a an explorer what else can we say so just before the break you got to the first part there Kim where we we found out about love is patient something else that you that you learned along the way sure well the very next one love is kind I happen to be at a place that I love to go when I'm in Port-au-Prince it's the home for sick children run by the Sisters of Charity Mother Teresa's order and I love to go into the lower level of the building where there's just a sea of institutional cribs I like to just find a baby to just spend the day with and hold and cuddle and help change diapers and feet and whatever and and so I went there and I saw this beautiful baby laying in this pink sleeper and I walked over to the crib and as the time went by the story unfolded this little baby was only three weeks old and gorgeous and his name was Christopher and standing at the end of the crib was his grandmother and I got to know her quite well so the story is that a Natalie Christopher's grandma Christopher's mom was Natalie's only child and she died shortly after giving birth to Christopher on the dirt floor of their one-room house and Natalie thought that Christopher's inability to keep milk in his stomach was because it wasn't his mom's but his time went by he became less and less interested in the bottle and more and more intent on sleeping so Natalie knew something was wrong so she held Christopher close on the several mile walk to the sisters to get him the help that he needed and the best that they could tell was he must have some sort of an obstruction and so surgery would be required but we're in Haiti where there are few doctors and fewer hospitals and fortunately we were able to find a doctor who was willing to do the surgery but it was a ways away and Port-au-Prince is a city with two million people and infrastructure for 40,000 so getting anywhere in the city takes time well at one moment during the day we all panicked because Christopher stopped breathing and we looked around and noticed that there was a kink in his oxygen tube and we unkinked the tube and he started breathing again and and so did we so it was obviously Christopher needed oxygen to live and he also needed surgery to live so he needed a portable oxygen tank to take him from the home for six children to the hospital for surgery so I called everyone I knew in Port-au-Prince and some people couldn't even recommend a place to go for one some people went and looked for one but nobody could find a portable oxygen tank in a city with two million people so poor Natalie had to make the decision on what to do and of course surgery was Christopher's only hope so they pulled the van up as close as they could to the door and they kept the engine running and and just this hurry one of the sisters grabbed his IV and another sister scooped up Christopher and they ran to the door and out the door and I turned around and Natalie was still standing there and I said Natalie Natalie go go and she pointed down at her feet and they were bare and she knew they she would not be allowed in the hospital with bare feet so I quick whipped off my sandals and I put him in one hand and I grabbed her by the arm and I ran to the door and she hopped in the van just as it was pulling away and that's when I understood what love that is kind is love that is kind would do that like of course I gave her my sandals anybody would give their sandals away I would go barefoot the rest of my life of the meant that Natalie could hold Christopher I gave my sandals away knowing I'd never see Natalie again knowing I'd never see my my sandals again love that is kind is no expectation love it's doing kind things saying kind things showing kindness with zero expectation of getting anything in return not a thank you not a casserole nada I went to her daughter's wedding where is she at mine none of that as soon as you expect something for something that's no longer love love that is kind is kind period but I'll tell you David what Natalie gave me that day allowing me to share that day with her and with her precious precious grandbaby I will never stop loving Christopher I'll never stop loving Natalie that day was incredible and for her to share it with me was a gift that was so much greater than a pair of sandals and you know that is that is an amazing thing and particularly you know in today's times today's life we're so busy and you know it's easy to throw around the word love and it's easy to talk about unconditional love but it's not that easy to practice and I love the fact that you say that it is kind and it's this giving without any expectation that is a big thing though and and wow to learn a lesson like that in Haiti must have been no definitely an eye-opener for you now as your journey continued Kim what are the sorts of revelations did you come across well one of the toughest ones for me one of the ones that I dreaded was says love keeps no record of wrongs and I thought well you know you hear forgive and forget when you might forgive but forgetting is a whole different story you know you don't forget the things that happen to you so the month that I was working on that I was asked by some men in the United States to travel with them out into the countryside of Haiti to see a water project that I was working on so I took two Haitian friends with me who also happened to be men to translate and help with the project and we got to where we were staying and it was just a very small building with two rooms four twin-size beds in each room and it was surrounded by a cement wall and the head guy of the American guys pulled me aside Kim Kim can I talk to you I said sure and he said did you see the rooms and I'm thinking buddy there's nothing else to see there's there's nothing here and then I thought oh he's thinking I'm gonna want my own room and there's only so much space and so I'll just say well that's okay I'll sleep outside and he'll say no no no if anyone should sleep inside it should be you and I'll say well I don't mind if there's other people that are in my room and he'll say good because there's only so much room and so I thought it would all be settled so I said well it's okay I'll sleep outside and he said oh good good because we have done with us would not want to have a woman sleeping in their room and I'm thinking what did I just get myself into there are tarantulas and snakes and chupacabras and who knows what else is lurking in the bushes of Haiti and I just committed to sleeping for five nights on the ground outside so it's so afraid that something would crawl on me bite me you know I'd lose a limb or have to be airlifted to Miami or you know get some sort of anti-venom or who knows what could possibly happen so the first night I blew up an air mattress that we happen to bring along that held air for about an hour and it was really loud there were dogs barking and horns honking and finally 1 a.m. or so at that died down and then voodoo drum started in the distance that continued for a couple hours and finally 4 a.m. or so I was able to doze off and get some sleep so the first night came and went without incident all was well the second night came the dogs the horns my empty air mattress sleeping on gravel all the voodoo drums finally I'm sleeping but I woke up because there was something on my leg but I thought oh my word what could it possibly be I hope that I'm gonna live through this and so I slowly lifted my head and I slowly opened my eyes and it was a chicken there was a dang chicken on my leg and at first I didn't know whether to be mad because this chicken interrupted my little sleep or be happy because it wasn't a tarantula or is something much worse that it could be so I shoot it away and then the third night came and when and nothing happened the fourth night came and again you know no air in my air mattress and the voodoo drums and the dogs and the horns and finally sleeping and again I woke up because there was something on my leg so again I was full of fear and I slowly lifted my head and I slowly opened my eyes and again it was the dang chicken and again I didn't know whether we mad or be happy but that night we had chicken for dinner so my last night was without incident and at first I was really angry at these guys David I was thinking boy I hope my sons wouldn't treat a woman like this I'm all about equality but I am a human being and we all could have slept in the room just fine you know it would have been okay there was plenty of space to put our cots and air mattress in there and so I was bitter I was angry and here I'm working on love doesn't keep record of wrongs and then finally the light bulb went off and and love that doesn't keep record of wrongs doesn't forget the things that happens to us but it changes the narrative it changes the tone bitterness is something that only hurts us right it can hurt us physically mentally it can hurt us in every way and quite often the person that you're angry with doesn't even know that you're bitter and angry but love that doesn't keep record of wrongs just changes the tone and the narrative that story so instead of this horrible thing that these horrible men did to me now it's just this funny thing that happened to me and now I could literally sleep anywhere in the world and be perfectly comfortable so that is love that doesn't keep record of wrongs and I think that's wonderful wonderful story as well you know I would have I would have thought maybe you should have looked at it in the way that the chicken was keeping everything else away because if there was something if there was something nasty there the chicken wouldn't have stayed this is what's involved my special guest is Kim Sorrell we'll be back in just a bit we'll be right back with more what's involved David would love to hear from you to leave a voice message visit what'sinvolved.com and click drop me a voice note and we're back with my guest Kim Sorrell she is the author of two books the main one we're talking about today is a book called love is a year-long experiment of living out one Corinthians 13 love and we are talking all things love now Kim it's amazing and your journey is amazing and just the fact that you did it because and and I don't want to be indelicate here but it's not as though you started this journey out as as a youngster just out of out of university or college and you you know you you sort of were like a lot of us when we younger we're not scared to travel the world you you you weren't a youngster were you no I was 47 when my husband passed away and so right no I was I was far from out of university and my kids were grown I had grandchildren by then and different ballgame for sure well I think it's wonderful it's part of the thing that that inspired me and drew me to having a chat to you because I thought you know it's gonna take some dedication to to finding out and spending a year finding out what love actually means and I mean having one foot in sort of United States which is a first world country and then the other in Haiti it must have been it must have been a culture shock with a whole lot of things and I we go back to those those gentlemen that were quite happy that you slept outside why do you think that was that you think it's just part of that culture and they were like wow thank you for not having to make us make tough decisions yeah maybe maybe they were fearful you know maybe they most of them if not all of them I think was their very first time in Haiti and so they probably were out of their comfort zone and and didn't quite know how to behave or how to act and so that's what they chose to do is is let me sleep outside and that could be for sure yeah well then you know what that means that means you can come and visit South Africa and have absolutely no problems Kim talking about things like that though that was fairly scary but you've had a couple of other scary incidents along the way share one of those with me oh gosh well I was chased by a motorcycle gang over the border and going from Haiti to the Dominican Republic I was driving a truck with two of my friends from the United States we were driving it from Haiti over to the Dominican we had done a project and we borrowed some tools and things from my son in the Dominican Republic and so at the border the border is a kind of a scary place and anytime I'd ever cross the border both the Haitian customs and immigration and Dominican customs and immigration were located on the Dominican side and in the same building just a few steps from each other and I was always told don't stop on the Haiti side don't stop on the 80 side and we get to the border and there's tons of people and people are waving us down trying to get us to stop and I'm like no you you don't stop you don't stop and it's all flooded the whole area is flooded and we went through the gate and got to the other side and a man came up to us a Dominican man who spoke English and said you were supposed to stop on the other side and come to find out they changed the system and sure enough we were supposed to stop on the other side while he negotiated motorcycle rides for us we left one of our guys in our truck to watch the tools and things that we had in the back and the other two of us each were on separate motorcycles and this man Luis went with us also to go back over to the Haitian side through the water and get our passport stamped and come back over and get them stamped on the Dominican side well when we got back over the motorcycle drivers wanted more money than we had previously negotiated and I was I said no you know we negotiated a price you you named the price you said what you wanted I agreed to it so this is how much I'll give you so I gave him the money and we went and got our password stamped on the Dominican side and we're driving away and we left our guy in the back of the truck and then Luis the Dominican man jumped in the back of the truck as well and all of a sudden they're yelling go go faster faster we're like what what is going on well we were being we were having rocks the size of people's heads thrown at us and they were getting plummeted in the back and the truck was getting hit and and then there were motorcycles that were chasing us and so my friend who was driving started driving like a madman I think some of the curves we were up on two wheels he was like a race car driver driving as fast as he possibly could and we drove and drove and drove and finally they stopped following us I don't know what would have happened if they would have caught us but we finally got through that and then as our adrenaline was settling down a little bit he said what just happened and I said well you know we negotiated a price and then they wanted more money and I told him no I wouldn't give him more money and and he said well how much more money did they want and then I was kind of embarrassed because it was only five dollars and yeah we risked our lives over five dollars I I had no idea that was gonna happen but I probably should have just given him the money but I was working on love doesn't easily anger and we had more experience on the route we were pulled over by pretend military and our passports demanded and I wouldn't give them and and I we kept our cool during the whole process and during everything that we went through and love that doesn't easily anger makes so much sense but it can be so hard to do you know it's so easy to get angry when people do things like throw rocks at you and chase you on motorcycles or give you a different price once you get over to the other side of the border it's easy to lose your cool it's easy to to be angry but love would say calm down and just relax and get through the moment you know anger gets your adrenaline flowing more and your blood pressure up and and you pretty soon aren't even listening to the other person and the words they have to say you're just angry and you just want to yell and shout and punch the wall or whatever you want to do well if you can stay at a calmer level and think about loving the people that you're with and thinking about love then the moment goes by it and in a much better way and so that was a big lesson to learn and a pretty dangerous lesson to learn I have to say well again I am I'm struck by your your sort of bravery and looking for the lessons in the midst of of being chased by a gang on motorcycles but Kim just just in doing this you know as you as you were talking about this I thought you know as well this concept of love is very closely aligned with gratitude because while we're talking I sense in you this immense sense of gratitude for what you've been able to do so far I think that's absolutely true I mean gratitude is such an important thing right recognizing what we have what we've been given the gifts that we have things that that we don't necessarily think about things that we take for granted and and we take for granted people as well and people are what it's all about relationship is is what it's all about you know the the other stuff that the vacations the cars the houses the everything else that's all great you know that that's okay but you wouldn't want that and have no relationships you know it's it's all about people and people are all about love and so it's interesting David what I learned is though sort of the overall thing so each word each phrase by itself is unique and and it has a different aspect of love that is so important but the overall thing about love is that it is complete freedom when you are free to just love people there's no judgment there's no condemnation there's no trying to fix people it allows people to just be who they are live who they are the reality we have no control over anyone but ourselves you know we like to think that we control people or you know we give some unsolicited advice or we think we're helping people out but we don't have any control over anyone but us and when all you do is love all that other stuff goes out the window and then you learn to appreciate people and be grateful for people for who they are and it's a whole different level of gratitude that comes into play it's it's really a beautiful thing wonderful stuff we are chatting to Kim Cyril she is my special guest right here on what's involved we'll be back in just a bit and we'll be wrapping it up with Kim because I still want to find out some more like what is the meaning of love what is love actually we'll find out about that when we come back it is what's involved great to have your company you're listening to what's involved with David Watts have you been to our website check it out www.what'sinvolved.com and while you're there click on the coffee mug icon and buy David a cup of coffee they'll love it and we're back what's involved wrapping it up with my guest Kim Cyril so just before the break Kim I said to you I wanted to ask you this question though so your journey in terms of you know your year or a little bit more that you spent learning about love what conclusion did you come to what is the meaning of love well it's interesting I think a lot of people think that love is an emotion a feeling like fear or excitement but love is so much more than that love is walking and talking and living and breathing and doing love is is who you can become you can become the love to others and when you embody love your whole world changes the anger that you have the you know and little things that can happen in life or you get irritated by people because their personality doesn't really align with yours or even having conversations with someone who doesn't believe the same way you do in politics you know that's a big big issue in the United States Republicans and Democrats and and but the truth of the matter is if people just stop and listen and just love people just look at people as someone to love and and care about it it doesn't mean you have to hang out with everybody doesn't mean everyone's gonna be your best friend but it also means you don't have any enemies there's there's not a reason to have the animosity there's not a reason to have hatred toward anybody or judgment toward anybody for anything and so I think people would find out that if you just love then you really listen then you're not just imagining in your head assuming what people are gonna say because of what you think their politics are what you think their belief system is or the family they were raised under the area that they live in or the school they attend or job that they have or amount of money in the bank or for any other reason but you really listen and you find out that you really have more in common than you thought you did and love just allows life to happen it just is is such an incredible thing to to not prejudge but but strictly just love become love let it walk and talk and breathe within you and it is and you know what the strange part to me is Kim is that it is something that is so natural and so inbred built into us and yet we've we've turned it into all sorts of strange weird and wonderful things and and there's been so much ego that's gotten in the way but just before we talk a little bit more about the book and about what you do one of the the titles that I've seen attributed to you is world changer now the question is do you believe that love can really change the world if we embrace love more absolutely one 100% if everyone were to understand love what love really is and then live it the world would absolutely be a different place wars and anger and and pride and envy and coveting people's things and just none of that would would be a part of life none of that would be a part of life it it changes it changed me dramatically as as an individual and I thought it was a pretty decent person before this but I learned so much there was so many things that I was not doing right and so I work toward it you know I practice love I I work toward the things that I learned toward achieving the things that I learned but absolutely every relationship would change I think the divorce rate would go down the abuse rate would go down every everything that is bad in the world could change and be good you know I would tend to agree with you there and that's one of the reasons I really wanted to have a chat to you because I believe your outlook you're teaching your book is something that everybody should should have a read of and I also think you know with more love in this world there's gonna be a whole lot less damaged people because that's basically what we want is human beings we want to love and we want to be loved so Kim hats off to you for doing what you've done let's talk a little bit about this love is is the book we're talking about but you also wrote one cry until you laugh which was also you know this was your your book that you wrote while you were going through the cancer journey with yourself and your husband and I think that's also going to be an amazing amazing book to read where can people get hold of love is Kim is it available on Amazon on Kindle it is it's available on Amazon it's available on Kindle it's available at many many booksellers online it's available in some brick-and-mortar stores around the world so it is pretty readily available there's some other love is things out there but this is a dark blue cover with great big love is and white on it and it's readily available my name Kim Sorrell I'm literally the only Kim Sorrell spelled my way in the entire world because my name has way too many letters to ours to ease to else as so our r-e-l-l-e it's available on my website Kim Sorrell calm I can be reached on social media if people have questions or want to reach out I love hearing from people and I'm speaking as well and so maybe sometime I'll have the opportunity to come and speak in South Africa that would be they'd be wonderful oh we'd certainly love that and and I'm sure you know South Africa very much like Haiti as well I think could do with a little bit extra love at the moment I noticed one of your your accolades you got is from Jack Canfield a co-author of that best-selling series chicken soup for the soul Jack said he absolutely loves this book it's definitely chicken soup for the soul it goes and goes on to say do yourself a really big favor and read this book so Tim the best place to help people to find out all about this because I see you've got a love challenge as well and I'd love to to know about that all of that is available on your website which is Kim Sorrell calm and it's k-i-m-s-o-r-r-e-l-l-e calm Kim Sorrell calm there'll be obviously links within the podcast and the show notes as well so Kim what I like to ask people just as we wrap up I interview and before I let them go before I do let you go what's next for Kim Sorrell well I want to spread the word I'm very passionate about the things that I learned about love and that it really can change the world it can change people's lives for the better in so many ways and so I'm doing more speaking and getting out there and and just trying to spread the word I think my next book is gonna be love is for kids and so I'm excited to get going on that and who knows the life is an adventure so I'm gonna go where it takes me wonderful stuff that wraps it up for this edition of what's involved my special guest Kim Sorrell author of her latest book is called love is a year-long experiment of living out one Corinthians 13 love what a great book what a great person Kim thank you so much we wish you all the very very best thank you so much for having me thank you there we go as I said wraps it up don't forget Kim Sorrell calm check it out until next time look after yourselves take care and thank you for listening thanks for listening to what's involved we hope this episode inspires you to find your passion and live your dream don't forget to rate review and share the podcast and to see what's happening what's going on and what's coming follow what's 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